


Undertow

by Eriathwen



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-15 22:47:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5803297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eriathwen/pseuds/Eriathwen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan is still very much in love with Phil, even after all...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Undertow

He’d never said the words, but surely Phil knew. How could he not, after all the electric touching, the heart palpitations, the sweet nothings whispered in the night, while they laid in bed together. Things were so easy back then, no holding back hands and laughter, nothing to hide, nothing to fear. Granted, 2015 had been a great year, and Dan was getting looser and more comfortable with it all again, and, to be fair, Dan also knew that the falling apart of 2012 was in a great part his fault, his forced estrangement, and in those days, he honestly thought he would be over his silly little crush by now. Every time he looked at Phil, he knew he was wrong. Especially in those moments where Phil didn’t notice he was being observed. When he was cooking for them, humming a tune absent-mindedly, or when they went grocery shopping together, and Dan could watch him just walking around the aisles, muttering to himself about this and that product. Living with Phil hadn’t been easy. Not when he was so enamored with the way he spoke, his soft take on life, with those captivating true blues that could drag him in like an undertow.

It all had been bothering Dan lately, to the point where he had trouble falling asleep, thinking too hard about the past and about ‘what if’s. Overthinking had never gotten him anywhere, and he was very much aware of that. It didn’t stop the whirlpool in his mind. For the fourth night that week, Dan was laying in his bed, staring at the darkness, arms crossed and his head full. Phil was always so nice, he thought. He never pressed Dan on talking about their past, and Dan was usually grateful about that, but recently, he has been asking himself if never talking about it was such a good idea, and if Phil’s feelings towards him were so feeble, that they dissipated so quickly.

If his thought process was anything to go by, he’d be lying awake for hours on end. “Fuck it” he breathed to himself. He decided to do something he hadn’t done in years. “Phil?” he called as loud as he dared, hoping that Phil would hear him through the wall, and that he wouldn’t be opposed to it.

Dan waited in silence for a reply, and told himself to not call again if there wasn’t any. Phil might have already been asleep, for all he kn- “Yeah?” he heard a faint voice from the other room. Resolved, Dan got up, taking his duvet and wrapping it around himself, and walked to the other’s door. He knocked softly, and leaned against the doorframe. “Come in.”

He opened the door just enough for him to be seen. Phil was sitting against the headboard, laptop propped open on his lap, and finished writing something before looking over at Dan. Dan sighed and pulled the duvet tighter around him, feeling a bit small. “I’m having trouble sleeping again…” he trailed off, waiting for him to say something, but Phil only adjusted his glasses on his face. “Would it - would you mind if I stayed with you for a while?” Phil didn’t say anything “I mean, it used to help, you know, back in the day.” he chuckled, ready to reach for the doorknob and go back to his bedroom, when Phil interrupted his thoughts with a “Yes, of course. I can scooch over.”, smiling and moving himself to the further side of the bed. Dan muttered a ‘thanks’ before closing the door behind him and carefully rearranging the duvet over himself as he sat beside him.

“You didn’t have to bring your covers, though.” Phil said, his attention back to his laptop. “Mine is a double, you know.” Dan didn’t dispute on it, though he could’ve pointed out he still slept only in his boxers, and that he was already feeling weird sharing a bed after so long without the physical contact that sharing a duvet would require. “So.” Phil closed the browser and turned to Dan, using the laptop as a light source. “Why haven’t you been sleeping?” He looked so lovely, face crumpled a bit by his pillow, and glasses slightly askew, leaving whatever it was that he was doing to focus on Dan.

He wanted so much to tell Phil the truth, to tell him about feelings. He wanted to explain the ache in his chest, and the fog in his mind. But he just couldn’t. Not now, not like this. He’d get emotional, his voice might crack or he might ramble on forever, and he felt so damn tired. “Just… too much in my head, I guess.” That was good, it wasn’t a lie. “It’s no big deal, I just can’t really seem to shut down.” Phil let the laptop fall in between them and turned on his side to properly look at Dan. “It’s nothing to worry about, really. I just need to get a nice night of sleep and I’ll be in tiptop shape again, you’ll see.” he smiled softly, and Phil did the same, but he didn’t avert his gaze. Dan felt naked. Phil’s eyes looked almost black with the dim lights, yet they had the same glow on them. He looked so soft. Dan wanted to reach out and touch him, but Phil was quicker than him, pushing Dan’s fringe from his face and smiling a little wider. Dan cleared his throat, looking down, trying not to grin like an idiot with such a simple touch. “If you’re not sleepy, we could watch something.” Dan offered.

Phil retrieved the laptop and promptly opened Netflix, taking way too long to choose something to watch. Dan didn’t mind, though. He tried to concentrate on Phil’s scent, though it wasn’t as present as it once was. They’ve been living together for so long now, it seemed their scents fused, and Dan couldn’t make a distinction anymore. Phil ended up choosing something they’d already seen, so they didn’t have to pay much attention to it. He adjusted him body a little down, and put the laptop on his stomach, and motioned Dan to move closer.

Dan doesn’t even remember falling asleep. Maybe staying this close to him made Dan not to think about it all. He had forgotten what it felt like, curling up to Phil, inhaling him, feeling at home with his head against his chest. Dan looked up at him, wondering if he’d ever feel that again. That was the last thing on his mind before he drifted into a dreamless sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading it! I hope you liked it!
> 
> umm, yes, this is supposed to become a chaptered fic with a happy ending, if people actually read it... We'll see.


End file.
